Conscious Parenting Techniques
Being a parent is not an easy job. Modeling empathy, respect, and understanding in parent-child relationships is what we all strive to do but it can be difficult when they are little versions of you at times with little self-control. Are they doomed to follow our bad behaviors or can we right the ship before it’s too late? The question of nature versus nurture is an age-old question. There is no denying that part of a child’s behavior is often a result of their environment and experiences. The goal of being a conscious parent is to create a supportive and nurturing environment in which children can grow, learn, and thrive.
One of the key principles of conscious parenting is active listening. This means that parents pay full attention to their children and acknowledge their feelings without judgment. By truly listening to their children, parents can understand what is causing their behavior and help them to work through their emotions. This type of listening also helps to build trust and intimacy between parents and children. This does not mean excusing bad behavior or not setting boundaries.
Redirecting negative behavior can be an additional tool in your inventory. Time outs or restricting privileges can be effective. This involves parents guiding their children toward more positive behaviors. Helping children to understand the reasons behind the rules and encouraging them to find alternative solutions to problems can be a great problem-solving technique. For example, if a child is having trouble sharing toys, a parent might help the child understand the importance of sharing and then offer suggestions for how to play together.
Positive reinforcement is another important aspect of conscious parenting. When you criticize bad behavior you are also drawing a lot of attention to it. I remember telling my 3-year-old no and him staring at me and continuing to do the thing I was onto him for. I could tell he wasn’t trying to disobey me at the moment, he was testing me, he was getting my attention, and he was testing the boundaries of our relationship. Rather than criticizing children for their behavior, parents can focus on praising and encouraging the behaviors they want to see more of. This type of reinforcement helps children to feel valued and capable, which in turn builds their confidence and self-esteem. Parents can use positive reinforcement in many ways, such as praising children when they share, helping them to feel proud of their accomplishments, and providing them with opportunities to try new things.
Problem-solving is another important parenting technique. Children who are encouraged to find solutions to their problems and develop critical thinking skills are better equipped to handle challenges and make good decisions in the future. Parents can help their children develop these skills by asking questions and offering suggestions, but also allowing the children to find their own solutions. For example, if a child is having trouble making friends at school, a parent might ask the child how they could solve the problem and then help the child come up with a plan.
Empathy is another important aspect of conscious parenting. By understanding and acknowledging their children's feelings, parents can help their children to process their emotions and develop emotional intelligence. Empathy also helps to build trust and intimacy between parents and children. Parents can show empathy by validating their children's feelings, offering comfort and support, and helping their children to understand their emotions. However, there is a risk if this technique is taken too far it breeds narcissism. Part of emotional intelligence is actually understanding that our emotions don’t always make it true and that other people’s emotions are to be taken into consideration. Adults are suffering from a list of issues because lack of ability to reason without emotion or use emotion to make decisions.
Limit setting is another important conscious parenting technique. Children need boundaries and limits in order to feel safe and secure, but these limits must be set with kindness and understanding. Parents communicate the limits clearly and enforce them consistently, but they also provide reasons for the limits and help their children to understand why they are important. For example, if a child is not allowed to stay up late, a parent might explain why a good night's sleep is important and then help the child find alternative activities to do before bed.
Leading by example is another important aspect of conscious parenting. Parents who model respectful, understanding, and empathetic behavior towards others help their children to learn these values and behaviors. This means that parents must be mindful of their own behavior and be willing to apologize when they make mistakes. Children are watching their parents all the time and they learn a great deal from what they see.
Finally, being a conscious parent involves allowing children to have autonomy and make choices within reasonable limits. This helps children to develop their confidence and self-esteem, as well as their ability to make good decisions. For example, parents might allow their children to choose what they want to wear to school or what they want to eat for dinner, as long as these choices are safe and appropriate. But it is best to do this when you as the parent have the mental and emotional energy to support it. After a long and stressful day isn’t the right time to ask your 4 kids what each of them wants for dinner? Pick your times and pick your battles. Kids are watching you more than they will listen to you, so take care of yourself, for everyone’s benefit. They will thank you one day.
